It really does sneak up on you. It starts with a few drinks, and somewhere in your life, you decided that drinking every night is not a big deal. After all, you know plenty of people who drink every night, and they have a great job, nice car, and a beautiful family. If they can do it, so can you, right? Hell, drinking is probably what allowed them to become successful, to handle all of the stress of having a solid career. Right? This is how alcoholism snuck up on me. Now, I’m over 3 years sober, and I cannot believe how much I drank as a functioning alcoholic!
how Much I Drank As a Functioning Alcoholic
How Many Shots Did I Drink Every Night?
The other day, I was sorting through boxes of stuff in my loft to prepare for a move when I found a stash of tin shot glasses that came free with the whiskey I used to buy. I’ve kept them all these years because I’m into recycled crafts, and wanted to make something with them, but never did. Such is the curse of being a multipotentialite.
While I was trying to decide whether I should keep the tin glasses for a future project, I started counting them out of curiosity. It was a lot! Then, I wondered, “how many shots did I drink every night?” I wouldn’t know the answer to that, because I never measured. Shot glasses would have gotten in my way, because I was filling up a pint glass of my favorite poison. Well, I didn’t fill it all the way. I’d fill a pint glass about half-full of whiskey and then add sparkle water or something similar. Then, I’d drink about one to two of those a night.
Or, I’d spill the contents on myself after passing out.
I may not have been drinking shots, but I’d still like to use shots as a measurement here, because it’s something that people can readily understand. I did the math, and I’m actually shocked to realize that I was drinking a little less than I realized.
It turns out, I was drinking about 6 shots of whiskey every night.
The Internet is Full of Lies!
According to the Harm Reduction for Alcohol website, women who drink as much as I was drinking are only at medium risk for drinking. I call bullshit, because I was blacking out every single night. The chart on HAMS says that people who drink 3 to 4 drinks every day are at no risk for alcoholism. Such bullshit!
Literally no one should drink every single day!
Don’t believe everything you read online to justify your drinking!
Listen to your intuition and ask yourself these questions:
- Does drinking give me anxiety while drunk or the morning after?
- Have people expressed concern about my drinking?
- Do I drink because I want to or because I feel like I need to?
- Do I drink to handle daily stress?
- Do I feel healthy and happy, mentally and physically?
How I Functioned as an Alcoholic
As an alcoholic, I functioned like any other responsible adult. I went to work, cleaned my house, and took care of my responsibilities. I just drank every evening from about 5pm until I passed out.
The Dangers of My Alcoholism
When I was drinking heavily, I’d ask Google search, “Is it OK to drink every night?” and a lot of websites said it was “fine.”
It wasn’t though. The dangers of my alcoholism were real and denial about my problem began to erode over time.
I was blacking out every night, throwing temper tantrums often, and feeling like shit every day.
Hangovers became so normal, that I didn’t even notice them anymore. I never vomited as a heavy drinker, because my body adapted to the poison. But, I suffered from chronic fatigue, headaches, and anxiety.
Anxiety about my drinking grew worse over time as I began to wonder:
- What if I wake up injured?
- What if I wake up in the hospital?
- What if I wake up in jail?
- What if I don’t wake up at all?
When I Got Sober
I didn’t intend to quit drinking. I intended to cut back, but when I didn’t drink for two days in a row, I suffered from life threatening alcohol withdrawals which you can read about here.
It took a lot of determination, discipline, and perseverance to get to where I am today. Currently, I’m over 3 years sober, and life has never been better!
Thanks for Reading!
Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, please share it. To see my before and after alcoholism photos click here.
If you’d like tips to stop alcohol cravings naturally, click here.
