How to Have Fun In Recovery from alcohol
So, you got sober! Congratulations! Now what? Time can seem like it is moving so slowly now that you are fully present and alert for each moment. You had to give up your go to activity. One of the biggest challenges for newly sober people is learning how to have fun in recovery from alcohol. Let’s look at why that is the case and get you back on that fun time dinosaur I like to call…. Life!
This Article Covers:
- Patience in Recovery and Better Habit Building
- Social Anxiety in Sobriety
- Having Sober Fun Around Drunk People
- Making Sober Friends
- Having Fun With Furry Friends
- Having Fun By Yourself
Retrain Your Brain to Build Better Habits
Having fun should be the most simple thing, right? So, why does a recovering alcoholic find it challenging? Because, by drinking in excess over a long period of time, we allowed it to become an unhealthy habit, and we let ourselves become dependent on the alcohol for our brain to produce the dopamine and serotonin required for us to feel good and have fun.
According to Sonia Lopez, a board-certified addiction medicine specialist with over 30 years of experience in the field, dopamine can take up to 14 months to return to normal in recovery from alcohol! This means that you may not fully enjoy healthy activities that would normally be fun for you, until your brain chemistry returns to normal. That is why it is important to be patient with yourself, and don’t give up on having fun in recovery!
If you feel you need medication or other resources to help you on your sober journey, please seek information and assistance from a medical professional that specializes in addiction and recovery.
Dr. Amitai Shenhav, a Brown University Professor who studies the psychology of habits says, “habits themselves are a product of our previous actions, but in certain situations those habits can be supplanted by our desire to get the best outcome.” In other words, you can retrain your brain to build better habits through repetition of healthy and fun activities! Those of us in recovery know that we started drinking for the reward of how it made us feel, but the consequences of excessive drinking began to outweigh the reward which inevitably lead us to stop the self-destruction, and put down the bottle.
Be patient, consistent, and persistent in seeking fun new hobbies and activities that interest you, and over time, you will develop new habits for having fun!
Don't Let Social Anxiety Stop You From Having Fun in Recovery
We have all heard people say things like, “I can only do karaoke when I’m drunk,” or, “I’m too self-concious to enjoy sex unless I’m drunk,” or, “This better not be a dry wedding.” Social anxiety is often to blame for this mindset.
Alcohol can seem like it is good at relieving that anxiety. But, the irony is that alcohol can end up causing social anxiety, too! Most of us can think of at least one time when we woke up hungover and felt pretty embarrassed or ashamed of something we did when we were hammered.
Be Brave!
Part of having fun in recovery is to bravely face social anxieties with a sober and clear mind! Karaoke in recovery is just singing! Sex in recovery is HOT. And, a dry wedding is a beautiful celebration of 2 people you care about doing the most daring social thing of all; pledging their undying love for each other. Would you have fun jumping off a 15 ft rock and landing in water if it WASN’T a little scary? Just sayin’… (Jump responsibly.)
Remember, a little social anxiety is normal. Most people feel some amount of social anxiety, even celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence for instance! When interviewed for French magazine Madam Figaro, Lawrence revealed that when she was a kid in school, her social anxiety was so intense that it drove her to seek therapy, but it never helped. In her case, acting is actually what helped her get over her social anxiety!
Sometimes, a little courage can go a long way! Sometimes the best way to tackle social anxiety and have fun in social settings is to practice, practice, practice! Don’t be afraid of being afraid!
Examine Why You Are Anxious and Seek Healthy Ways to Understand and Resolve It
In some cases, newly sober people realize they aren’t as extroverted as they thought they were. Like, maybe the alcohol was just making them more outgoing (or obnoxious!) Now that the ol’ “liquid courage” is gone, the extrovert may behave more like an introvert, which is totally fine!
However, If you feel that your social anxiety is too much to handle and is preventing you from living life the way you would like to, then your recovery from alcohol can help you get to the root of the issue. A sober mind is a clear mind, and this can help you identify and examine WHY you have social anxiety, what triggers it, and how to manage and cope with it in non-destructive ways. Make the most of your recovery, by investing some time and thought into your mental health, and reach out to qualified professionals if needed.
How to Have Fun in Recovery Around People Who Are Drinking
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First of all, you do NOT have to participate in ANY event or gathering where there is a lot of alcohol if it will negatively affect your recovery. Learn to set boundaries with family and friends about what types of events you are up for, and NEVER feel guilty for putting your health first. Your boundary might be to not attend these events at all, or it could be to leave early, before people get too drunk. It’s up to you!
If you need help setting and maintaining boundaries, check out this course offered by my incredible life coach, Heidi Rain.
However, if you choose to attend a gathering where you know others will be drinking, you might need some cards up your sleeve to have fun. Literally… I learned to start bringing a deck of cards in my purse to places where alcohol is abundant.
We live in a society where drinking alcohol is considered an activity all on it’s own, and you will notice that more than ever if you are in recovery!
The first party I went to as a newly sober person was painfully boring for me. The family used to have a pool table, but it had been sold. The basketball hoop was not accessible due to the full bar located underneath it. I got false hope for fun when someone announced a game of flip cup. I should have known it was a drinking game!
That party made me realize that if I’m going to have any fun around drunk people, I need to bring my own entertainment!
Feel free to bring your own games with you to these types of events like board games, cards, frisbee, skateboard, or whatever you are into! That way you can still have fun in recovery with your loved ones who choose to drink.
If you end up too bored at a party, your sobriety could be at risk! When you see beautiful happy people having their first couple of drinks, it is like they are advertising it to you. They seem like they are having so much fun.
But, here is the thing… You are in recovery for a REASON, and if you wait around to see these people towards the end of the night, or the morning after a party, I guarantee you will remember why drinking isn’t fun! Memories of me hitting rock bottom helped me stay sober at my first party around drunk people.
The longer a party goes on the more you start to notice that the smell is not good, and the people are not looking beautiful and happy anymore. When you wake up the next morning and see your loved ones all grumpy and nauseous with headaches and hangovers, you will say, “Man, I’m glad I didn’t drink last night!” No one has ever said they were glad they DID drink the night before!
All of this is to say that, while it may be a little bit of a challenge to have fun around people who are drinking, you can try to achieve it with games of all kinds like darts, pool, video games, karaoke, cards, and board games. But, do not buy into the false belief that drinking will be fun for you.
The alcohol lies like a con man. It promises fun, but it is always at a high cost whether that takes shape in the form of a hangover that consumes your entire day off, or something as major as waking up in the hospital, paralyzed, and being informed that you are being charged with manslaughter for drunk driving that you don’t even remember.
That’s not fun. Card games will never do that to you.
How to Make Sober Friends
Somewhere in your recovery journey, you may realize that your friends who still drink are not as fun to be around as they used to be, which is normal and ok. Where can you go to meet people who enjoy having sober fun? Try taking a class in something you’ve always been interested in. Here are a few ideas to get you started!
- Jiu-Jitsu
- Cooking
- Painting
- Aerial Silks
- Quilting
- Photography
- Roller Skating
- Ballroom Dancing
- Writing
- Yoga
While there is obviously no guarantee that you will form friendships outside of a class, the possibility is there, and either way, you will still be having fun with others in a structured, safe, and productive environment!
Have Fun in Recovery With Your Furry Friends!
Look at this boy. He’s a good boy. Our pets need to have fun just like we do, and they are the best sober buddies! Ruger is SO happy and grateful for the little things in life. A good pet is proof that alcohol is completely unnecessary to have fun!
Take Ruger for a kayak ride, play with his chewy squirrel, and scratch his booty, and he’s as happy as can be! If you don’t have a pet, and you have space and time for one in your life, consider adopting your very own cuddly fun time friend!
If you aren’t prepared for the responsibility of a pet, there are still plenty of opportunities for you to have fun with animals! You could offer to dog or cat sit for someone you know, start a side job as a dog walker, or even volunteer at your local animal shelter to play with, walk, and groom dogs! Heck, you could volunteer at a zoo and tend to exotic animals! How cool is that?
Have Fun In Recovery By Yourself
During recovery, you may not even be into social activities for awhile, and that’s ok. The great thing is that sober you is the most authentic version of yourself, so taking time to get to know yourself better can be very beneficial to your recovery. Knowing yourself better helps you stay rooted in your beliefs and commitment to sobriety.
Experiment and explore exciting new activities by yourself. Here are a few ideas for fun activities to try:
- Reading
- Writing Stories to Submit to Podcasts
- Drawing/Painting/Art
- Video Games (I finally beat The Lion King on Sega Genesis hahaaa!)
- Hiking
- Learning a New Skill Like Soap or Candle Making
- Learn a New Language (I started learning Japanese when I got sober)
- Kayaking
- Fishing
- Baking (It is normal to crave sweets in recovery! I fell in love with baking cupcakes!)
Boredom in Recovery is a Great Sign!
Boredom is often blamed as a cause of relapse, but I saw boredom in my recovery as a sign that my brain was repairing itself, providing me with more creative energy than what I was used to. This gave me the opportunity to know myself better by finding healthy and productive hobbies.
Boredom means that your brain is THIRSTY FOR FUN and stimulation! The human mind was not designed to be idle. We were born to create, invent, and have fun. We were born to LIVE!
Having fun in recovery is all about finding your true self and your true interests, and now that you are sober, you have a chance to do that! I’m so excited for you!
Sources:
Lopez, Sonia. “How Long Does it Take to Rewire the Brain From Addiction? Experts Weigh In.” WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/connect-to-care/addiction-treatment-recovery/how-long-does-it-take-to-rewire-the-brain-from-addiction
University of Warwick. “Train the Brain to Form Good Habits Through Repetition.” ScienceDaily. January 28, 2019. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190128105227.htm
Harris, Shamecca. “Jennifer Lawrence on Her Anxiety Disorder.” ABC News. November 18, 2013. https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2013/11/jennifer-lawrence-on-her-anxiety-disorder
I also drew from my own experiences with alcoholism and recovery to write this article