Hi! My name is Katy, and I’m a former alcoholic. I wasted four years getting hammered every night, from the ages of 32 to 36. Have you ever met someone who brags about how much they can drink? Sure you have. We all have. I was one of those people.
My alcoholism got so bad that my skin reeked of piss no matter how well I showered and scrubbed with the finest suds. A quick Google search revealed that drunks can smell like urine because “The kidneys and liver help remove toxins from our bodies. When they cannot function properly, toxins can build up in the blood and digestive tract, creating odor. Kidney disease can cause a buildup of urea and make your sweat and urine smell like ammonia.”
While I was never diagnosed with such a condition, my health was rapidly fading with each drink, and I was in danger. I didn’t feel good, mentally or physically, and I didn’t look good either. Click here to see my before and after sobriety photos. They are shocking!
I began suffering from blackouts every night that caused severe anxiety upon waking. By the time I decided to try and cut back on drinking it was too late. Two days without alcohol cast me into a horrific spiral of life-threatening withdrawals followed by weeks of illness, which you can read about here.
That post goes into more detail about my recovery, but to summarize, it took an entire year of sobriety before relentless cravings to drink stopped tormenting me! In fact, I had been sober for almost a year on my first alcohol-free vacation when the cravings hit harder than ever. My husband was still drinking, and he had bought a bottle of my old frenemy – whiskey.
I remember sitting down to eat dinner, and the bottle seemed to be looking at me. It wouldn’t stop looking at me. Then the voice came. That fucking demonic voice.
“Come on, you’re on vacation. Don’t you want to have any fun?”
“I am having fun!”
“One drink won’t kill you. Just don’t overdo it. You’re in control now.”
“One drink was never enough. Fuck you. I’m not drinking. Just shut up.”