How to Have Fun In Recovery from alcohol
So, you got sober! Congratulations! Time can seem like it is moving so slowly when you are fully present and alert for each moment. You gave up your go-to activity. Now what? One of the biggest challenges for newly sober people is learning how to have fun in recovery from alcohol. Let’s look at why that is the case, and see how we can get you having fun again!
Why is it Hard to Have Fun in Recovery From Alcohol?
Do you remember how simple it was to have fun before you found alcohol? And then when you started drinking, you thought, “Wow, this makes fun stuff even more fun!” But, somewhere along the road, it became not so fun. If you’ve recently gotten sober and are having a hard time enjoying yourself, you’re not alone! It’s actually quite common.
Why is it hard to have fun in recovery from alcohol? When drinking becomes an unhealthy habit, you slowly slip into dependency, which degrades into full-blown addiction. Your brain becomes dependent on alcohol to produce the dopamine and serotonin required for you to feel good.
According to an article on Munster Behavioral Health, it can take between 30 and 90 days of being sober before your brain will even start to make dopamine again. Munster goes on to say that “many people notice significant improvements in mood, cognitive function, and impulse control” after 6 months of sobriety. The longer you’re sober, the better you’ll feel. That is why it is important to be patient with yourself, and don’t give up on having fun in recovery!
If you feel you need medication or other resources to help you on your sober journey, please seek information and assistance from a medical professional who specializes in addiction and recovery.
How to Build Healthy and Fun Habits After Drinking
When learning to enjoy your new and sober self, it’s essential to understand how to build healthy and fun habits in recovery from alcohol. Dr. Amitai Shenhav, a Brown University Professor, tells us, “habits themselves are a product of our previous actions, but in certain situations those habits can be supplanted by our desire to get the best outcome.” Drinking became a habit for you because, for a while, being drunk felt like the best outcome. But at some point, the consequences of drinking began to outweigh the rewards.
Fortunately, you can retrain your brain to build better habits, one day at a time, through daily repetition of healthy and fun activities! Don’t be afraid to try new hobbies and reconnect with old ones with consistent intention and reflection. Cravings to drink may try to ruin your fun, but just focus on the task and trust that one day, you’ll be doing something, and think, “Wow! I just went a whole day without thinking about alcohol!” Time really does fly when you’re having fun.
Your healthy habits will replace alcoholism. It just takes time and patience.
Don't Let Social Anxiety Stop You From Having Fun in Recovery
Don’t let social anxiety stop you from having fun in recovery! If you think you can only sing karaoke, have sex, or go to a wedding when you’re drunk, think again!
Alcohol is the biggest liar. It might seem like it’s good at relieving anxiety, but that relief fades as the addiction grows, because alcoholics might think they’re the life of the party until the morning, when they realize they were actually the embarrassment of the evening.
Be Brave and the Anxiety Will Fade
Be brave, and the anxiety will fade! It’s OK to be scared! Get on stage and sing anyway. It’s fine to be nervous during sex. That can make it more exciting and build trust when you push through that fear. And weddings? Well, they’re a little boring, but show your loved ones you care by being there for them with a clear head that’s not stuck in the rose bushes puking while they exchange vows.
Think of it like this. Would you have fun jumping off a 15 ft rock and landing in water if it wasn’t a little scary? A little fear is healthy and fun. (Jump responsibly.)
Remember, a little social anxiety is normal. Most people feel some amount of it, even celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, for instance! When interviewed for French magazine, Madam Figaro, Lawrence revealed that when she was a kid in school, her social anxiety was so intense that it drove her to seek therapy, but it never helped. In her case, acting is actually what helped her get over her social anxiety!
A little courage can go a long way! Sometimes the best way to tackle social anxiety and have fun in social settings is to practice, practice, practice! Don’t be afraid of being afraid!
If The Anxiety is Too Much, Seek Support
In some cases, newly sober people realize they aren’t as extroverted as they thought they were. Like, maybe the alcohol was just making them more outgoing (or obnoxious!) Now that the ol’ “liquid courage” is gone, the extrovert may behave more like an introvert, which is totally fine!
However, if you feel that your social anxiety is too much to handle and is preventing you from living life the way you would like to, then your recovery from alcohol can help you get to the root of the issue. A sober mind is a clear mind, which can help you identify and examine why you have social anxiety, what triggers it, and how to manage and cope with it in non-destructive ways. Make the most of your recovery by investing some time and thought into your mental health, and reach out to qualified professionals if needed.
How to Have Fun in Recovery Around People Who Are Drinking
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When you quit drinking, you’re likely still being invited to functions where alcohol will be present. So, you might be wondering how to have fun in recovery when you’re surrounded by drunks. First of all, you do NOT have to participate in any event or gathering where there is a lot of alcohol if it will negatively affect your recovery. Learn to set boundaries with family and friends about what types of events you are up for, and NEVER feel guilty for putting your health first. Your boundary might be to not attend these events at all, or it could be to leave early, before people get too drunk. It’s up to you!
If you need help setting and maintaining boundaries, check out this course offered by my incredible life coach, Heidi Rain.
If you choose to attend a gathering where you know others will be drinking, you might need some cards up your sleeve to have fun. Literally… I learned to start bringing a deck of cards in my purse to places where alcohol is abundant.
Drunk People Aren't Fun
Drunk people aren’t fun. We live in a society where drinking alcohol is considered an activity all on its own, and you will notice that more than ever if you are in recovery!
The first party I went to as a newly sober person felt like it lasted forever. The pool table had been sold. The basketball hoop was not accessible due to the full bar located underneath it. I got false hope for fun when someone announced a game of flip cup. I should have known it was a drinking game!
That party made me realize that if I’m going to have any fun around drunk people, I need to bring my own entertainment!
Feel free to bring your own games with you to these types of events, like board games, cards, frisbee, skateboard, or whatever you are into! That way, you can still have fun in recovery with your loved ones who choose to drink.
Stay Strong - You're in Recovery for a Reason
If you end up too bored at a party, your sobriety could be at risk! When you see beautiful, happy people having their first couple of drinks, it is like they are advertising it to you. But stay strong, because you are in recovery for a reason, and that reason is always revealed around midnight and the morning after a party. Drunk people don’t look or smell good. And, hungover people are grumpy with headaches, fatigue, and nausea. You’ll say, “Man, I’m glad I didn’t drink last night,” while they’re wishing they hadn’t.
Memories of me hitting rock bottom helped me stay sober at my first party around drunk people.
Alcohol lies like a con man. It promises fun, but always at a high cost, whether it’s a hangover that consumes your entire day off, or something as major as waking up in the hospital, paralyzed, and being charged with manslaughter for a drunk driving rampage that you don’t even remember.
That’s not fun. Card games will never do that to you.
How to Make Sober Friends
Somewhere in your recovery journey, you may realize that your friends who still drink are not as fun to be around as they used to be, which is normal and ok. Where can you go to meet people who enjoy having sober fun? Try taking a class in something you’ve always been interested in. Here are a few ideas to get you started!
- Jiu-Jitsu
- Cooking
- Painting
- Hunting
- Aerial Silks
- Quilting
- Photography
- Roller Skating
- Skiing
- Snowboarding
- Ballroom Dancing
- Writing
- Yoga
While there is obviously no guarantee that you will form friendships outside of a class, the possibility is there, and either way, you will still be having fun with others in a structured, safe, and productive environment!
Have Fun in Recovery With Your Furry Friends!
Look at this boy. He’s a good boy. Our pets need to have fun just like we do, and they are the best sober buddies! Ruger is SO happy and grateful for the little things in life. A good pet is proof that alcohol is completely unnecessary to have fun!
Take Ruger for a kayak ride, play with his chewy squirrel, and scratch his booty, and he’s as happy as can be! If you don’t have a pet, and you have space and time for one in your life, consider adopting your very own cuddly fun time friend!
If you aren’t prepared for the responsibility of a pet, there are still plenty of opportunities for you to have fun with animals! You could offer to dog-sit or cat-sit for someone you know, start a side job as a dog walker, or even volunteer at your local animal shelter to play with, walk, and groom dogs! Heck, you could volunteer at a zoo and tend to exotic animals! How cool is that?
Have Fun In Recovery By Yourself
It’s OK to have fun in recovery by yourself. You may not even be into social activities, and that’s ok. Taking time to reconnect with who you are can be very beneficial to your recovery. Knowing yourself better helps you stay rooted in your beliefs and commitment to sobriety.
Experiment and explore exciting new activities by yourself. Here are a few ideas for fun activities you can do solo:
- Reading
- Writing Stories to Submit to Podcasts
- Drawing/Painting/Art
- Video Games (I finally beat The Lion King on Sega Genesis hahaaa!)
- Hiking
- Learning a New Skill Like Soap or Candle Making
- Learning a New Language (I started learning Japanese when I got sober)
- Kayaking
- Fishing
- Baking (It is normal to crave sweets in recovery! I fell in love with baking cupcakes!)
Boredom in Recovery is a Great Sign!
Boredom is often blamed as a cause of relapse, but I saw boredom in my recovery as a sign that my brain was repairing itself, providing me with more creative energy than what I was used to. This allowed me to know myself better by finding healthy and productive hobbies.
Boredom means that your brain is THIRSTY FOR FUN and stimulation! The human mind was not designed to be idle. We were born to create, invent, and have fun. We were born to LIVE!
Having fun in recovery is all about finding your true self and your true interests, and now that you are sober, you have a chance to do that! I’m so excited for you!
